Salam...
This coming weekend aku tak balik.Staying here in UTP.It's my mistake after all.This unlikely holiday just come in unnoticed by myself and I'm gonna pay the price.Anyway it is not the scenario of being in this boring UTP with a few of friends that make me sad but it is my mother.After a week I'm here most of the time its' my sister who will called me every night or on alternate night but somehow tonight when I called my family it's my mom who want to speak to me.For some reason it really make me feel guilty and sad.As this post is written, my heart is still touched with it.After 10 years I spend most of time not with the family,I think it is getting harder for my parents to let me go.This is not the first time I'm stayin back in UTP during CNY but it look likes they're thinking soon I might spend lesser time with them compared to my students life.
Mom I know soon we might part away coz by any reason I need to work.However I'm praying all the time that PETRONAS will release me and I can be a teacher.It might upset you both but experience never makes me belief that I'm gonna make the grade.Mom the conversation really break my tears and I lost my cool.I haven't had this feeling for long time.It is just because I think the relationship is too close.I can joke with my father but it is a heart to heart talking with my mother.She used to be strict on me but she's the one who really know me.I might said love to my former partner more than thousands time but a handfull for you but it is something greater than words.
Mom,
I really love you
I never said so
but I realize it
that none will be that close to me
even some people it ur partner who can replace her
but u're the one who understand me the most
the tie that always exist
even when the eyes were closed
it's the prayer who keep us close
I love you mom
i'll do my uttermost to see u smile
to relieve the misery
as long as I'm breathing
I'm sorry mom
coz I break your heart this time
Tuesday, February 9, 2010