A messed up me.mean no harm nor disturbing

Salam...

It took me such a very long period for me to publish a new post.If it wasn't because this short holiday my blog might be dead till next semester.I'm not sure what is the cost of my failure to post regularly.I admit that my daily life span were shorten for a few hours and I do became a bit more lazy.However since last semester result was released there's kind of insecure, uncertainty and dissapointment regarding to my past and my future.I'm dissapointed about my result.I regret what I've done all this while.In addition to that there's also mixed feeling between insecure and uncertainty.

Some friends told me that as we march on towards the end of our learning we'll be able to score better.Somehow for me the scenario is a bit different.At one point I'm climbing and later i'll dropped further more.A major setback that really disturbing.It's true life is most likely like a tyre when its roll.WE might be at the top and will future being at the bottom.Somehow tyre is not in use the position of a point won't change and similar scenario when the car is not moving or the tyre is punctured.After a massive lift during the previous semester,I'm targetting almost a similar result for this semester.As time passed by I know that it might drop a bit due to certain reason.The truth is I was blown away by the wind.I was smacked into pieces and vanish with the ferocious wind of Malacca Strait.The result really bring me down to earth.I'm ashamed and it feels like I'm not the kind of student that should be sponsored by PETRONAS.

People do say that regretting our past mean nothing.I also believed that it won't bring any good.Its kind of formality for me when I'm down to flash back what had happen since I begin my journey in UTP.A fine and successful 1st semester.Being a part of one of the best ever rugby tem in UTP.A lot soving and splendid time with my friends.Next semester I lost a camera and a bit improvement in my result.In 2007 I quit from the team due to personal reason.My result was not that impressive.At the end of the year I was left devastated but the only favour was my result.Then the whole dark ages begin.I lost self confidence and I do feel that I"m not a kind of guy that impress girls.In other word I think I'm a loser.My result surge down and my team didn't perform very well.I got banged in my 1st game with UTP.2nd half in utp being a bit better.Significant increase in my GPA.It life out of the dead zone.2009 I had no rugby tournament.By calculation if my result remains almost the same my CGPa will be more secure.Who knowa the tough road waiting in front.At the end it smacked me down.I am locked at a so-so position.I lost my motivation further more.I wished I can turn back the time.I want to stop the event that lead to dark ages of mine from take place.

My future still remain in balance.My CGPA is not that bad.People told me to be cool and do the best for my internship.That is the most realistic action to be taken.However sometime I do think am I good enough to be employed soon?I dont have enough motivation.Lack of soft skills and not so good in public relation.I less likely to get along with people I'm not comfort with.I dont get along with my SV and boss very well compared to the technician.How am I gonna survive in the future?This is a damn bad condition.A kind of torture I'm not sure whether I can survive or not.Once again I'm losing my passion to work and it makes me think to stay as a student till I had the courage to move on.

Life wasn't that beautiful is it?I'm not so sure what to say.I do have my good time but it seems to occur just once in a while.Having a good time makes me feel better for a while but an incident will make it worse a lot more.At this moment I'm losing hope and just pray that the sun will shine back.